The view from here

40 Sucks?

2012-01-20T18:13:00.002-06:00

Well, many wonderful ladies I know have joined the 40 club. I admire them all for many reasons and think that turning 40 is a good thing. I think it's an amazing time in life and I'm knockin' on 40's door. My best friend since 7th grade turned 40 this month and I saw this cute idea on Pinterest.

I'm not crazy about the black balloons, Over the Hill, "this is awful" mentality of a new decade. So.....I made it better by adding 40 memories/moments to make her smile. To make it special, fun, and not "black." I was proud of myself and the idea AND the way it turned out!!

Happy 40th Tina Mofina! Here's to 40 more....and then some. I love you!!

Kaceism #1

2011-12-30T21:59:00.001-06:00

It's been a long time. So much to say, so I'm not about to backtrack. That would be overwhelming, right? Kace is amazing me daily with the things he repeats, mimics, and tries to say. Some things perfectly and some things just a hair off. And I love it. He's at that age where he's saying some things wrong, but it's so cute that we want them to stay that way.

When Riley was younger, he said "lasterday" instead of yesterday. I love it, still say it on occasion, and miss it terribly!

Here's one of Kace's.

This Moment

2011-11-05T20:25:00.000-05:00

Tonight Kace has us all to himself and Riley has Nunny and Buzz all to himself. Kace hasn't stopped talking and jabbering since his Bubba left!!
New words this week: up, owl, money (?not sure if it's Mommy and Nunny mixed together?), hi, Mike, jp (pj's--and I love it!)

Words he's been saying: bye bye, night night, Chachi (for Aunt Robbye), milk (sounds like meow), strawberry (sounds like HEB), water (sounds like double), Mommy, Daddy, Mimi, G, Nunny, Buzz, Bubba, bite, shoe, jeans, shirt, num num, snack, apple, and I'm sure there are more....

His vocabulary grows daily.
He loves music, loves to dance.
He loves his Bubba.
He loves snacks.
He loves to wake up early.
He loves to climb on furniture.

Here's a moment of him shakin' it tonight. So precious!!

Hospital-iversary

2011-10-07T21:28:00.000-05:00

Two years ago today I was 22 weeks pregnant, went to work, and went in for a doctor appointment. My OB-GYN told me that I had a greater chance of losing this baby than keeping it. The look on my doctors face told me that I should be frightened because you see, he doesn't ever look concerned or worried. And he did.

I had no amniotic fluid.

My favorite nurse, Judy, stayed late to check me into the hospital. She escorted me and my mom (who rushed to the hospital) upstairs to my room. I was so glad she did. She was a calm presence for mom and I. That walk to the hospital room was a frightening blur. Russ arrived shortly after.

My doctor thought I'd check in for the weekend, get some IV fluids and a steroid shot. (And be on my way...?) That was until the neonatologist showed up and informed us that I'd stay until the baby came. My due date was January 30th. YOU do the math.

It was horrifying, it was NOT on my calendar, it was NOT my choice. This was in God's hands. We were in God's hands and I've never been more certain. I was scared, but looking back I don't have any bad memories.

We added to our family tree there. Dr. A, Dr. D, Stephy, Melinda, Joanne, Lily, Cookie, Julia and Brian, Kate and Joey.....

I've never felt so loved in all of my life as I did those days. Mom came every day. My Bunco girls surprised me with Bunco in my room one month. My teammates surprised me by sending Amy to give me a blowout on my birthday! Riley and I shared books on the internet in my hospital bed....and watched The Bee Movie (thanks to the cafeteria's fruit plate and some microwave popcorn). Friends and family sent flowers, food, books, crosswords, emails, calls, you name it, I had it.....pajamas, shower gel, lotion, everything a girl in a hospital bed could dream for, I had. Except freedom. Russ spent many nights with me when our moms could be home with Riley. Tina and I had a couple of spent the nights. All for me and I loved and appreciated every effort, whether big or small. It still overwhelms me.

People ask how I made it. Wasn't I stir crazy? Wasn't that hard? What did you DO? Well I made it....I didn't have a choice. Not making it wasn't an option, was it?

Every day I obsessively checked Kace's development and wondered what our lives would be like if he was born each day. I worried, but I felt so safe. I knew we would be okay. God would keep us safe and provide us with what we needed.

On December 21, Kace was born. Induced 6 weeks early because of my continued lack of fluid and his size. Dr. A was hoping for a 5 pounder. Kace was 5 pounds, 5 ounces. I was SO proud. December 23 I was discharged from the hospital. Just in time for Christmas Eve. I'd spent my birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Russ's birthday in my hospital bed. I'm so glad I was able to escape before Christmas. Kace spent 10 days in NICU and was released on January 3. We spent just a few days shy of 3 months in the hospital and when I say "we", I mean "we!" Family, friends, and me.

What a journey. What a blessing. What a gift. What a story.

When I look at him I'm reminded of how much I have to be thankful for. The big things and the little things.

Two years later, Kace is a happy, healthy dreamy boy. Every day he amazes me. Every day I'm thankful that we have him in our lives. Our home wouldn't be complete without the sunshine he brings.

I wish I had a picture from this day 2 years ago. I was too scared. Here my and my little one are tonight before bedtime, on our hospital-iversary.

Real Estate

2011-09-22T21:52:00.003-05:00

Today I went to Nana's house. It's been "empty" for quite some time. Mom's been going through the drawers and cabinets one by one for a while now. Today I went to grab the china she gave me long ago. And so many memories came flooding back.

I walked through every room looking at all of her things spread out for the estate sale next week. That was her life on those tables.

Her sewing kit. The sewing kit she used to make my clown costume and poodle skirt for 50s day. The sewing kit she used to make the dress I wore to Mom & Gary's wedding.

Her dishes. The dishes we had Thanksgiving Dinner on. The dishes we ate her famous spaghetti on.

Her purses. She always had a purse to match her shoes. And a fancy purse for church on Sunday.

Her Ponds cold cream. That's what Nana smelled like when she kissed me goodnight when I would spend the night at her house.

Papa's tools. He was my original Mr. Fix It. Now I have Babe and I'm so thankful he has that talent.

Papa's 8 tracks. In a black case. That we listened to going to Uncle Roy's for Thanksgiving (and every other occasion). Merle Haggard. Hits of the 1940s. Marty Robbins. Gospel Hits. I knew every word.

What to keep? What to let go of?

Too bad I can't keep the smell of her Samsonite overnight case in there forever. Smells like Estee Lauder lipstick, Clinique powder, toothpaste, shower caps, and hotel shampoo.

Wish they were still there. Cooking, whittling, playing bridge, smiling, baking, mowing, laughing, watching National Geographic or the 6:00 News(Papa) or Guiding Light or Murder She Wrote (Nana).

Now it's just a house. Real Estate. With tables of stuff. Stuff that I don't need, but is part of me. Stuff that filled a house with love.

Countdown to Kindergarten

2011-08-14T14:02:00.003-05:00

Last night, I was sitting in Riley's bed while he was choosing his 3 books for bedtime. As he was crawling into bed, I looked at my watch and checked the date. "10 days to Kindergarten" I announced. And noticed that ironically,one of the books he chose was...

We've read this one many times over the summer, he knows the story well. A girl is counting down to Kindergarten, dreading that she will be the ONLY one that doesn't know how to tie her shoes. And Rule #1 is that you can't ask for help!

One page, the girls parents are dropping her off in her classroom. Riley notices the mother is crying. "Why is her Mommy crying, " he asks "because she's happy?" "Yes, she is happy. And sad too, because her baby is growing up and starting school. I might cry too, on your first day" I explain. "Uh-uh" he says "Mommy, I'll always be your baby. I'll be your baby forever" he assures me, leaning in for a snuggle.

Yes you will....

The Deer Got Stuck by Riley

2011-07-18T14:30:00.007-05:00

One morning at the ranch, Mommy was trying to take a picture of this tree and she saw a garden snake.
Then Mommy heard a noise that sounded like a loud goat. It was pretty loud, it sounded like "AAAAAAAH!"

Then she walked around and saw a deer. It was a baby fawn. The fawn was running into the fence and falling over backwards. It kept getting stuck in the fence. It couldn't get through, it was blocked.

Mommy put her hand over mouth and Daddy and I saw her. Daddy ran outside to help. Then I came outside to see what happened. We saw the deer running into the fence and falling on his back. He was saying "AAAAAAH!"

The mommy and daddy were out in the big pasture hiding in the bushes. The baby was in the little pasture. Oreo (a cow) was going to go over there and try to buck him.

Daddy climbed over the fence and picked up the baby fawn. Mommy and I were watching from the other side of the fence. Daddy brought him over so we could see him and pet him. Mommy petted him but I didn't. I didn't pet him because I was scared, he yelled, "AAAAAAH!" when I was trying to pet him.

Daddy spread the fence so the baby fawn could get out of the little pasture and get in the big pasture with his mommy and daddy. He said "AAAAAAH!" again and his mommy and daddy came running.

And guess what? The mommy deer jumped WAY over the branches of the big tall tree, alot of them, I mean alot.

Okay, this story's over.

*He spoke, I typed. I asked some clarifying questions for details and correct sequencing, but this is all him. I had this idea because when this happened, he was so excited to share the story with all who would listen. AND he wanted me to show the pictures as he was telling it each time. He would give me "turn the page signals!" Remember those? Needless to say, I'm pretty proud of my little storyteller!!

The Naked Chef

2011-06-28T14:31:00.004-05:00

He loves to cook, just like his Mommy! I'm not sure where he gets the urge to cook pantless...

I Can't Believe it's Yogurt!

2011-06-13T13:24:00.003-05:00

Paralyzed

2011-06-09T11:08:00.002-05:00

Husband is at work.
Baby is at school.
Almost Kindergartener just left to go to the ranch until Saturday with grandparents.

I'm paralyzed with freedom.
Do I stay home and relish in the silence? Well...the iPod is on shuffle and I don't have to worry about Jay-Z dropping the f-bomb OR The Killers singing about his boyfriend that used to be his girlfriend...and that's NICE.

On one hand it's glorious. On the other hand, it's not.
As a mother, my kids are constantly on my mind, whether they're by my side, in my house, or otherwise. When I'm with them, I'm often fantasizing about my next "break." When I get that break, I enjoy it, but thoughts of them tend to monopolize. It's crazy!

Meanwhile, here I sit. Paralyzed with freedom. Where shall I begin?

They're Baaaaaack!

2011-05-14T08:55:00.002-05:00

We rarely have time for t.v. anymore around here (which is fine by me) but when we do, Riley prefers the old Batman sitcom, Pink Panther, or Spiderman. As far as kids shows go, I prefer The Backyardigans. I've been missing them lately. Let's keep that between you and me, okay?

Riley requested an oldie and we went back in time to The Backyardigans this morning. Kace didn't stop shakin' it for the entire theme song! He wasn't interested in the rest of the show at all. Maybe there's a little Saturday morning Soul Train in our future...

Rebecca's War Dog of the Week: Eli, brother and protector, goes home - Tom Ricks | The Best Defense

2011-05-06T14:40:00.002-05:00

I was blessed to know this young man. A ray of sunshine with a smile that could light up the entire town of Orange Grove. He paid the ultimate sacrifice fighting for our freedom in Afghanistan. He is survived by his parents, younger brother, older brother, and Eli. His mother posted this article and I felt compelled to share. This is just a tiny shapshot of him and his family. They've been through so much...anguish to jubiliation in the honors he's received.

His company, Darkhorse 3/5 returned from Afghanistan last week. Colton's family and friends went to meet them for their return. The soldiers brought home Colton's camera to give his mother...they wanted to give it to her in person.

Rebecca's War Dog of the Week: Eli, brother and protector, goes home - Tom Ricks | The Best Defense

Playing

2011-04-24T22:04:00.002-05:00

A couple of good moments I captured at the ranch this weekend. I played around editing them and here are a few.

Not sure which one I like best...all of them, I think!

Austintatious!

2011-04-09T08:51:00.003-05:00

OPI came out with a new line for the summer...a Texas collection! There was an Austin one....a sparkly turquoise...that I had to have. I'm pretty much a coral/pinkish/red kinda girl. Burnt orange in the fall and a dark brown here and there. I'm not really a blue/green/purple polish person, but I am now!!

Riley was first to notice:

Riley: "Mommy, I LIKE your pretty blue toes!"
Me: "Thanks, Buddy!"
Riley: "Daddy, do you like Mommy's pretty blue toes?"
Daddy: "Ummmmmmm....probably not if they're blue!"

Ha! Makes me giggle every time I look at my Austintatious Turquoise toes!

Sweet Dreams Little Men

2011-03-28T20:51:00.006-05:00

Dragon Tales and the water is wide.
Pirates sail and lost boys fly.
Fish bite moonbeams every night
and I love you.

Godspeed, little man.
Sweet dreams, little man.
Oh my love will fly to you
each night on angels wings.

Godspeed, sweet dreams.
The rocket racer's all tuckered out.
Superman's in pajamas on the couch.
Goodnight Moon will find the mouse
and I love you.

Godspeed, little man.
Sweet dreams, little man.
Oh my love will fly to you
each night on angels wings.

Godspeed, sweet dreams.
God bless Mommy and Matchbox cars.
God bless Dad and thanks for the stars.
God hears Amen wherever we are
and I love you.

Godspeed, little man.
Sweet dreams, little man.
My love will fly to you
each night on angels wings.
Godspeed, Godspeed, Godspeed,
Sweet dreams.
I wanted to take a picture of the boys together tonight. It's been a while. It was bedtime, so I decided pajamas it was. I love them in pajamas, so why not? With Dog and Kace's blanket. Kace was impatient, anxiously awaiting his bottle of milk (and I'm not quite ready to let go of that bottle at night, but I'm cutting myself off this week). As I was taking the picture, Russ was trying to make them smile. Kace is going back and forth from laughing to tears. He is laughing in the above photos, but does have tears from the second before when he was crying for that bottle! As I was taking these photos, this Dixie Chicks song popped into my head, for obvious reasons. As I typed the lyrics, my eyes filled with tears. They're so precious at bedtime...definitely one of the highlights of my day. The bath--the way they smell like Johnson and Johnson's original soap...and sometimes the pink lotion on top of it (and I'm not letting go of that one for a while...maybe until they move out!). Add that to the Dreft & Downy of their clean pajamas. The pajamas that turn those rough and tumble little boys into my babies again. The routine--calm (most of the time), quiet conversations reviewing the day...our "favorite parts." The books--Kace gets 1--and I usually read it at least twice. Riley gets 3. I get to hold them, we snuggle up close. Yup, I'm certain this IS the highlight of my every day. Sweet Dreams Little Men.

I'm Just a Squirrel Tryin' to Get a Nut

2011-03-08T17:56:00.004-06:00

Kace and I were outside enjoying the weather recently when we saw our neighborhood squirrel teasing our XL cat, Corky. We watched them for at least 15 minutes. Of course, I ran in to grab my camera.

We loved watching him dart around and twitch his tail at Corky. Corky would hunker down to play, then, very cat-like, become uninterested. So fun!!

Cheery-O

2011-02-21T16:02:00.003-06:00

Kace loves Cheerios, as do most children his age. It's the independence of feeding yourself at your own pace, and a little bit of trying to stuff as many in your mouth as possible!

My Valentines

2011-02-20T15:08:00.022-06:00

Valetine's Day started the weekend before, with Riley making his first Valentine box for his party at school. We started with a shoebox, he drew his idea on paper, and Daddy helped him bring it to life. It was perfect!

He chose Scooby Doo Valentines with pencils this year, so we filled them out--he wrote his name AND his friend's names on every single one!

Started the morning with our tradition, heart shaped muffins...and my tradition, coffee!

I was able to attend Riley's Valentine party because my class party was the Friday before and Riley's party just happened to be during my lunch time and conference period. What an unusual treat. I was so happy to be able to attend.

Before Russ and Riley ran off to baseball practice, my boys happily agreed to an impromptu photo shoot (yeah, right). Riley didn't get Valentines for family this year, so we emailed them pictures. Can you see the love in our eyes? Or the frustrationand irritation?

While they were out, there was this amazing sunset! After baseball practice, I surprised the boys with a Valentine dessert. Cupcakes from Cupprimo. They were beautiful and delicious! One for each of us. Cherry. Chocolate covered strawberry. Hot fudge sundae.

And coincidentally, my Valentine's surprised me with a cupcake charm for my charm bracelet and a beautiful wooden jewelry box! Thank you!

Kace loved his cupcake! He stuffed it into his mouth and then there was this little episode as we tried to clean him up...

And when we finally got the tray away, this...

Goodnight, my littlest Valentine.

Love

2011-02-08T19:02:00.001-06:00

Love me some baby toes.

Love me some baby toes in jeans.

Love me some curled up, round, soft, squishy, fat, perfect little baby toes.

Love love love!

Exactly!

2011-02-05T07:53:00.002-06:00

The morning after...the snow day. There are remnants on the roofs and in the flowerbeds in the backyard and it's still really cold. Kace is happily eating banana pieces in his high chair, Riley is coloring Toy Story pictures at the table, and I'm cleaning up the kitchen (for the first time today).

Riley says, "Mommy, when Kace is 4, I'll be 8. And when Kace is 8, I'll be 10?"
"No, you'll be," and we count it out on my fingers "12!"
"And when Kace is 12, I"ll be.....16!"
"And when Kace is 16, I'll be....20! Just like you, Mommy."
"YES! Just like me."
"How old are you, Mommy?"
"I'm 20, Riley!"

I did confess the truth a few moments later. Think he'll remember?

It's a Great Day to Be a Five (year old)

2011-01-25T21:09:00.000-06:00

Riley's 5th birthday. I can't believe my baby's 5. I remember his "birth" day like it was yesterday. It wasn't, was it?

We kicked the morning off getting dressed for school. I woke him up singing "Happy Birthday to You." As we were putting on his socks, he says, "Mommy, my chest hurts." "Why?" I wonder. "From when that 5 came into me while I was sleeping, " he says...so serious I couldn't laugh...but my heart did melt a little bit. How cute is that? Where on earth do they get this stuff?

A chocolate cupcake with 5 candles for breakfast. Mommy would NEVER do this if it wasn't a birthday without eating lots of vegetables first!

We grabbed the chocolate cupcakes we made to take to school and as he climbed into the car, he was excited because I'd blown up several small balloons and threw them in the backseat (an idea I stole from my friend Ashley). A great day at school, complete with birthday crown, birthday hugs from friends, and there were so many kids out sick that day...they had cupcakes twice!
After school, our plans were to go to Tokyo Steak House. He'd never been there before, but I thought that because he loves to cook with me in the kitchen, he'd love it. I think everyone thought I was nuts for choosing that place, but I felt pretty good about it. Hoping he would too.

Before the chef even started cooking, he said, "Daddy, am I dreaming, or is this really happening to me?" He enjoyed the experience so much, ate his entire meal with chopsticks, and we all had a great time.

Some of the highlights were:

Daddy catching a shrimp in his mouth,
Riley catching a shrimp in his mouth,
(I actually caught a shrimp too, for the first time--but I had the camera!)

the volcano,

and the chopsticks.

Kace didn't feel the same way, at first. The moment the untinsils at the next stable started banging and clanging, he freaked out and tried to climb out of his high chair. "This is going to be a looooong night, " I thought, "what will he do when the fire starts up?" I imagined myself in the car with Kace while everyone else enjoyed Riley's birthday dinner. Not good. He did get better, as long as he was held. Mom held him through dinner and he did okay. He was VERY much aware of every flame that flared up in the entire restaurant. He would whip his head around like an owl. In the end, it turned out to be humorous....thank goodness!

For a split second, I regretted taking him there. Every kitchen rule I've ever taught him went out the window during this meal. No onions! Don't play with knives. Don't throw food. Don't touch fire, it will burn you...and hurt. I told him that these chefs had to go to school to learn how to do do these triks while cooking and he said, "When can I go to that school?" Oh dear...

Our chef in training! No knives, no fire!

Happy Birthday, Son. It's going to be an amazing year, I just know it. Especially because you told us the morning of your birthday, "That 5-year-olds listen."

Inspired

2011-01-18T12:16:00.007-06:00

My friend Tina at Shot of Whimsy has been such an inspiration to me lately. She started a new project, posting a daily photo for a year. She has inspired me and many others to stop and take notice of the beauty in our every day lives. She has no idea how I anxiously await her latest post...and look forward to the next one.

These trees at the entrance to my subdivision have been there as long as I can remember. Each year at this time, they have bright red berries and I think they are just beautiful. I always have an excuse not to stop and take pictures of them (children in the car, it's too cold, too many cars driving by, etc.) but thanks to Tina, I made the effort to stop and photograph these berries. They're not exactly what I wanted them to look like, but they are pretty. I think I'll have to make another attempt before the berries vanish until next year...

Thank you, Tina, for making me realize that beautiful photos don't have to have the perfect hair, the perfect outfit, and the perfect light. There is so much beauty in our every day.

This one is my favorite...I saved the best for last!

Guacamole!!

2011-01-17T07:04:00.008-06:00

Guacamole

1 eager, self feeding 1 year old

1/2 an avocado, diced into tiny pieces

Throw in a few smashed black beans

Place a few pieces on tray, sit back, and let the magic happen!

(I'm not sure if the green in his nose is avocado or....ha!) He's happy, it was fun, and yes, he did have a long bath afterwards.

Tubs of Fun

2011-01-14T19:01:00.008-06:00

Kace has always been pretty social in his own way. He's been a big flirt since birth, batting his eyes and coyishly turning his head. He's becoming more and more social. He loves to talk at home, but if there is a crowd, he just sits back and takes it all in. He is definitely having separation anxiety right now...he'll start to cry if he sees the back of my head! He's still such a happy, content little muffin.

We've had bouts with sickness between both boys lately. It honestly seems like if it's not one, it's the other. We even had an adventure in the ER Christmas night with Kace! Even when he feels bad, has a fever, cough, wheezing, whatever....a bath always makes him smile. He just loves splashing and kicking in the water. I think he particularly loves that Mommy and Daddy seem to get wet from shoulder to knees while bathing him too!

Nocturnal

2011-01-09T22:36:00.003-06:00

We have a nightly visitor. The first time I heard him I was rocking Kace just before bedtime. What a peaceful, beautiful sound it was. At first, I thought it was the rocking chair squeaking!

Our neighbor has heard it...and tonight, I ran outside to find it. It was in a tree in our yard. I was wishing it wasn't too late to get Riley...and it wasn't a school night, or I would've.

The video below is video indeed, but it's only for the sound. You can't see him.

Russ spotlighted him (and he didn't fly away at first) so I could get a better picture. My next mission is to get a video of him flying away. We saw it tonight, but I wasn't quick enough. It was breathtaking!

My Incredible Little Hulk

2011-01-08T12:06:00.003-06:00

As I'm sitting at the computer, Riley walks into the office and says, "Mommy, my pants are not fitting. I can't snap them, can you help me?"

Yes, my boy is growing, but THIS is insanity!!

Um, yes, my almost 5 year old can wear 18 month jeans. Hilarious, isn't it? The sad part is that I can't even begin to look this good in the size 4 jeans and pants awaiting my arrival in my closet. WHY???

It's the New, New Years Eve

2011-01-01T11:44:00.006-06:00

Well, our plans were to have a laid back New Years Eve anyway. We were going to a family birthday dinner at Grandmom and Grandda's to celebrate Mom, John, and Carole's birthdays and then off to Craig and Susan's for a very casual game night with the kiddos.

While shopping, Kace just got warmer and warmer, couldn't keep his little red eyes open, and I knew that our evening was taking a turn. I called and cancelled with our friends, but we pushed it and went to dinner with our family to celebrate 3 important birthdays. While there, Riley had a meltdown, as he didn't have a nap that day AND proceeded to fall into the water feature that Grandda built, swim 3 feet to the other side, get out, and was soaking wet from his shoulders to his boots. We stripped him down, threw his clothes in the dryer, and wrapped him in towels and sat him by the fire. Eventually he jumped in the shower to warm up. Meanwhile, Kace is hacking and isn't smiling for any reason.

Headed home. Kace coughing. Riley, buckled into his carseat, wearing my new North Face jacket, naked underneath. I'll for sure think of that every time I wear it!

On our front porch was a perfect pick me up, with no card attached, but we had a great guess. Those Unbelieable Unbehagan's. There was a bottle of sparkling pear juice, absolutely perfect for our unexpect evening at home, just the 4 of us.

I broke out the champagne flutes, so we could enjoy the only sparkly thing about this New Years Eve, and made Kace a bottle.

We toasted to the near year and gave each other New Year kisses. At 9:00!

Riley didn't love the sparkling pear so much, so I drank his and filled his glass with milk...NOW WE WERE TALKIN'!!

All evening, I thought about the drama that we used to go through to find the perfect outfit with just the right amount of sparkle (to wear, not drink), hair, makeup, getting there, etc. My, how our lives have changed! I was so happy to be home with my boys, cozy in their own beds, and barely staying awake long enough to ring in the new year with my wonderful husband.

I wouldn't have it any other way...sick babies, meltdowns, jeans, t-shirts, tennis shoes, wonderful neighbors that were with us in spirit, and milk in champagne flutes. Perfect. Happy New Year! I'm looking forward to what 2011 has in store for us and our family and friends!

Let the Purging Begin

2010-12-26T16:28:00.002-06:00

My house looks like a tornado blew through every room, every closet, every corner, and you get the picture. I'm ready to put things away, of course. But first I have this sickness where I have to clean out the closet...before the new things can go in there. And in that process, I manage to create even more chaos! Is it just me?

So...my inbox is out of control. I just deleted everything that didn't have a photo attachment and it feels great. I'm ashamed, horribly ashamed to admit that I just deleted 6400 emails from my inbox...

And I'm free!!!

121 remain, but they all have photo attachments. I'll weed through those another time. I'm thrilled to have a 3 digit number in there...especially one that starts with a 1!

(Yeah Babe, I'm still jealous that you only have one email in your inbox. Someday...)

One Year Ago

2010-12-21T10:27:00.009-06:00

One year ago...

Here he is, the reason I was in the hospital for 75 days. I was lucky enough to hang onto this guy for some good, quality developing time in there. We hung out in bed, Kace and I, for 75 days. It was hard, but it was easy at the same time..."for a good cause!" Those days seemed to filled with worry on one hand, but also filled with amazing friends, old and new; answered prayers; quality time with people we love; and a newfound respect for the daily grind.

The worry wasn't over though, it just transferred to a whole new level. He's here, appears to be okay, now off to NICU where they test, monitor, and give him more time to grow and develop. The worry didn't lesson like I expected in the back of my mind, it magnified greatly. Waiting for them to tell me what was right/wrong about our precious little miracle baby. Breathing, heart-rate, brain scan, wires, feeding tubes, constant beeping, and Russ's famous quote, "Ummm....there's an X." It's funny now, but it wasn't at the time.

Today, we celebrate his first year of life. The worry has yet to subside, it has evolved. Now we worry if he's okay when he bumps his head (because he's pulling up on everything) and what's he's put into his mouth this time (because every little speck of anything on the floor goes into his mouth...quickly). We are so lucky to have traveled this journey and had the outcome we did. Our eyes are open to a whole new world (to us) of difficult pregnancies, NICU babies, preemies, loss, and most importantly, the power of God. Every day I thank Him that we have two healthy, happy boys.

I don't look at babies with the same eyes that I did prior to this experience. Or mothers, or pregnant women. It's all a miracle and every day is critical, precious, and a gift. When life overwhelms me (as it does on pretty much a daily basis), I remind myself that what I need is a perspective change.

Well, here he is...my #1 perspective changer!

Fall is Here....finally!

2010-12-19T22:27:00.004-06:00

The calendar says it's Fall, long before it actually arrives in Texas. Very recently I've actually noticed some stunning orange, yellow, and red leaves....the week before Christmas!

I've wanted to pull over and snap some photos, but actually took these in my very own backyard!

hero.

2010-12-09T20:57:00.005-06:00

I have so much to say, but words just don't seem to be the most important thing right now.

A Marine fighting for our freedom in Afghanistan was called to Heaven on Monday.
Saturday morning his mother woke to the sound of his voice. She hadn't heard it in 35 days. He told her he was okay and things were quiet, that he was good.
Sunday they decorated a Marine Christmas Tree in his hometown.

This young man is someone that I know. I don't know him well, mind you, but he's the kind of guy you like the moment you meet him. He is the best friend to my niece and nephew. He is the son of my sister-in-law's best friend. I've known him since I met my husband.

He's wanted to be a Marine for a long time. He knew what he was getting in to and wanted to defend his country and its people. He is a hero.

My heart aches for his family. For his friends. For his hometown who has been through so much of late, it seems.

Newsclip from Kiii in Corpus

Please pray for his family, pray for them to find comfort through their pain. God Bless Them.

He is a true hero.

Thankful Thanksgiving

2010-11-26T14:00:00.009-06:00

Last year on this day I was in the hospital, praying that Kace would wait until it was time for him to arrive. Looking back on this year, especially this time in particular, that I missed last year, I have so much to be thankful for. Every day that goes by, I think "I spent this day in the hospital last year." It was so stressful on our family...and even our friends. I continue to be overwhelmed with love for my family and friends, for the simple things in life, for the daily pleasures, and the daily nuisances that I longed for while in the hospital.

On this day, I had been in the hospital for about 50 days and still had almost a month to go. I was in the downhill stretch, but it still seemed so far away. The good news every day was that Kace was still developing in utero instead of in NICU.

(Here is last year's post. I didn't read it until after I wrote this. So many similarities!)
I could write a novel about the things I'm thankful for right now--from the grand to the miniscule. I'll begin this novel now....stay with me! :-)

1. God and the blessings he has bestowed upon our family. Even the things we think are not blessings are. Staying in the hospital was NOT a blessing to me, but we actually enjoyed our time there with our nurses, doctors, and made new lifelong friends who went through their version of the same ordeal as we did.

We are also thankful to have finally found a church that we love. We plan to join soon and look forward to going to church on Sunday mornings. I'm so glad to finally have this missing piece back into my life. I never thought I'd find a church that I connected to as much as the last church I attended, but I have. What a blessing!

2. My family. Wow, I could not be more blessed to have a wonderful family. My family has always supported me, taken care of me...and my very own little family. I married into a wonderful family too--fabulous in-laws, two sisters and friends, and wonderful nieces and nephews that I call my own. The family that Russ and I have created is my life. These boys mean the world to me and I'm thankful that we have two boys to make our lives filled with amazement (in good ways and not so good ways)! We are blessed beyond measure to have our boys and I am one lucky girl to have all 3 of them in my life.

3. Friends. Friends are amazing. New friends, old friends, all of them. I hope they know who they are because they make the world go 'round. Martin Jr. High friends, neighbor friends, work friends, Bunco friends, family friends, and friends I don't get to see every day--but wish I did. They're there when you need them and I couldn't have asked for a better bunch.

4-12: Some Little Things

4. Making my own plate on Thanksgiving. WITH cranberry sauce.

5. Coffee.

6. Reading books with my boys. And snuggling. Do they know that it's purely selfish for me to do this? To make them love books, learn to read, and spend quality snuggle time? Shhhh--don't tell.

7. Cooking. Oh, how I love to cook, read recipes, collect recipes, try out new recipes. And oh, how I hate to clean the dang kitchen.

8. My job. I do love going to work every day. I love my students and I love the amazing people that I work with. I'm so thankful to have a supportive team and administrators!

9. Big Bang Theory.

10. Time with family.

11. Alone time.

12. Time with The Girls

(Yes, that is a big ol' mosquito bite right between Kace's eyes. He got it while we were taking family photos the day before.)

Off the List

2010-11-20T07:36:00.011-06:00

In September, what seems like another lifetime ago, some very special girls and I went on a cruise together. No husbands, no children, just the girls. The trip was never blogged about, but just in case you're wondering, we had an amazing time. Truth be told, I can have an amazing time with these girls ANYWHERE. But, we had a wonderful getaway together, thanks to our husbands, children, mothers, and mothers-in-law for making it happen for us.

While we were in Cozumel, we went on a little dolphin adventure. Something I've always wanted to do...and it was as fantastic as I expected it to be. Our trainer was great, the day was beautiful, and we even met two new friends that were on our ship. Bless their hearts for being in a group with us, but they held their own and I was so glad we got to know them.

Here we all are using our newfound trainer skills:

And holding my new friend:

Rubbing bellies...his, not mine:

Kisses:

And an awkward one:

And we danced:

The good times didn't end (or begin) there. Some other highlights include: swimming pools, karaoke, salty dogs, karaoke, hair products, karaoke, bartenders, karaoke, and some very special nametags.

Hot Date

2010-11-18T21:19:00.004-06:00

Lately, I've been feeling a little guilty about not spending enough relaxed, quality time with Riley. Not driving to school in a rush, not hanging out at home, talking while I make dinner, and not laying in bed reading books together. I felt like I needed to do something out of the ordinary, but simple. As I was heading to pick him up from school, I decided that it was a cool, sunny, beautiful day and we should go to Starbucks and have a hot chocolate date.

Today was the perfect day for it. Sunny and cool, but not too cool to sit outside and enjoy the fresh air AND some hot chocolate with whipped cream!

It was exactly what we needed, a little warm, chocolatey together time!

Dr. Day

2010-11-17T19:31:00.005-06:00

I took a day off this week and attempted to knock out some doctor appointments for Kace all in one day. We needed to see our pediatric orthopedist and our pediatrician for an overdue 9 month well check. The 9 month well check was delayed because right at Kace's 9 month well check time, he was circumcised.

Monday was our day. Sub plans written, appointments scheduled, and my stylist went above and beyond to come in on her Monday off to cut and color my hair...it was LONG overdue. I was so grateful to her for doing that--I even tried to talk her out of it!

The pediatric orthopedist we've only seen a few times, just to check in on Kace's turned-in ankles. I've always liked his laid back demeanor. The first time we saw him, he gave Kace a kiss on the top of his head! Last appointment he looked good, but asked to come in in 6 months for a follow up. Dr. said everything looked great and he didn't think we needed to see him anymore unless something came up and I felt like we needed to visit. What a relief!

Then we had lunch with Daddy at Phil's. A wonderful place, but Kace is too little to play and it was a pretty damp and chilly day. The burger was great...and the sweet potato fries were awesome as usual.

We headed to the pediatrician's office for our well check (after travelling to the central office last weekend to find out Kace had a double ear infection) and all was well there too. He's meeting all developmental milestones right now, but he isn't pulling up to a stand. He's crawling, making baby babble, eating his fruits and veggies, waving, etc.

I think the biggest shocker to us was that his little growth spurt. He went from being 25th percentile in height to 75th percentile!! The doctor even measured him again because she didn't think the nurse measured accurately! A tall baby?? Could it be?

I continue to be reminded of my blessings, today and everyday, through this season. I'm so thankful for my healthy, happy baby boy. The pediatrician even said, "You would never know this little guy was a preemie...usually baby's don't reach 20 pounds until their first birthday!"

Then I took Kace to Mimi's so she could babysit while I had my "alone" time and had my hair done. It was a treat. I was thrilled to get all of those things accomplished and not have to worry about leaving work early, who is picking up Riley, my mom or mother in law meeting me at the doctor's office and being on time. But in the back of mind I had a list of about 13 other things I was hoping to accomplish while I was out and about. Needless to say, none of them happened, but I am excited to have those things crossed of THE LIST!

Now off to have his 12 month well check in a little over a month!!

Dear Kace

2010-10-23T09:54:00.004-05:00

Dear Kace,

Boy, do you love your Mommy and Daddy. You always reach for us, smile at us, and cry when we walk away. But I just want you to know that nobody, I mean nobody can make you smile as big and belly laugh like your brother can. I love to listen to that laugh and see that big smile every time you see his face.

Love,
Mommy

10. ten. diez. dix. tio. X. juu.

2010-10-21T20:41:00.004-05:00

Today our baby is 10 months old. Here he is today:

and here is his brother at 10 months:

I think they look alike in their facial shape, chubby cheeks, rolls, and their big ol' head. I knew they looked alike like brothers might. I didn't think they looked this much alike until I saw the pictures for myself.

There are so many differences between the two boys, but so many similarities. I'm sure this is only the beginning!!

Goodnight Sweetheart

2010-10-20T18:17:00.007-05:00

Our usual bedtime routine consists of bath, Mommy or Daddy reading 3 books, Riley reading 1 book, scratch Riley's back, tell him goodnight, and walk out the door. One night earlier in the week though, he wasn't being very nice and after a few warnings, I ended up only reading 2 books and not scratching his back.

He was very upset when I left and didn't respond when I said, "I love you sooo much." Normally I get a gratuitous response at the very least.

While this is going on upstairs, Russ is giving Kace his last bottle of the evening After Kace finishes, Russ puts Kace into his crib and walks into Riley's room to say goodnight (he is now calm and settled). While Russ is in there, I hear Riley say(over the monitor), "Daddy, will you tell Mommy I love her sooo much?"

My eyes welled up with tears. It made my night...my year! Sometimes, just when you think they aren't listening, they pleasantly surprise you in the most wonderful ways!

I snapped these pictures of both of our sweet boys that night as they were sleeping.

So Much to Say

2010-10-19T17:37:00.003-05:00

So much to say and no time to say it, or even add the pictures. I keep thinking about things I need to post, things my children say or do, events that have taken place in our lives, and no time to tell these stories.

There's the Bunco Cruise....that could take days.
Riley's entire 1st baseball season.
Kace's surgery.
My birthday.
The food I need to post on my food blog.
What Riley said last night before bedtime.
Friends I've actually been able to see. And those I hope to see very soon!
Back to the hospital for my "anniversary" to visit some friends.

And whatever happens between now and my next post. Things ARE happening around here, faster than I can keep up!

Hospital Rewind

2010-10-08T22:54:00.008-05:00

Writing that post forced me to look back through the photos. It was a frightening, frustrating time, but it was a good time too. I didn't share many pictures of the hospital, but I did take them. I thought a "looking back" slideshow was in order.

Happy Anniversary!

2010-10-07T00:01:00.001-05:00

My anniversary. The one I share with North Austin Medical Center, not my wonderful husband. The anniversary of the day that I went to work, like any other day....and never came home again.

October 7, 2009 I went to work, taught my first graders, feeling fine...except for the leaking. It didn't hurt, it wasn't much, but I (unwillingly) made a dr. appointment anyway. I went in, talked to the dr. and I saw the panic in his face when he noticed that I had no amniotic fluid. My dr. is awesome--he's calm, cool, and tells it like it is. He's also a smart ass...and I love that. I'd never seen him worry, never seen him show fear/shock, until that moment. Then I was terrified. The terror didn't stop there. He told me he wanted me to check in upstairs. To the hospital. He was thinking that I would go through weekend and get some I.V. fluids and head home. "So I'll miss the game Saturday?" I asked. "Yes, " he smirked. I'll also never forget something else he said to me, "You have a better chance of losing this baby than keeping it." I was glad he told me that...someone needed to prepare me for the reality of the situation. No sugar coating, please.

The panic was worsening. I was bawling. I called Russ who left work and headed to the hospital. I called my Mom who was there in 10 minutes with me. I called my "save the day" mother in law who picked up Riley from school. I called my team who had to pull together sub plans for me.
I was in shock as my favorite nurse, Judy, stayed late to check me into the hospital and walk me to Labor and Delivery. I really didn't want to be there because I didn't want to deliver my baby at 22 weeks. My day there was a blur. Lots of questions, constant fetal monitoring, I.V. fluids and antibiotics (to prevent infection for baby and myself), and lots of prayer.

That night I met a new doctor. My neo-nataologist who didn't sugar coat a thing when she gave me the blow that I would be staying in the hospital until I delivered my baby. Until January 30th? That sent me reeling. The safest place for me was the hospital, they assured me. Constant monitoring, and if anything happened, I was right there. I was there to protect me and the baby from the pending infection.

Some medical background: My water broke at 21 weeks. Normally women go into labor within 48 hours of their water breaking. Having such little amniotic fluid, my baby was in great danger of not having fully developed lungs, amongst many other things if he was born 18 weeks early. There was a tear in my aminiotic sac that leaked amniotic fluid. Sometimes the tear can repair itself, but that is not common. I prayed mine would heal and the sack would fill back up. That never happened. I did get more fluid (it's baby urine, did you know that?), but it was always low. Being that their was a tear, they felt the safest route for me was to stay in the hospital where Baby and I were surrounded by medical staff who could give immediate care to both of us. The risk of infection was high.

I think I was basically in shock the first 48 hours. Everything that I needed to do raced through my mind. Everything that needed to be taken care of....my husband, my son, dinner, laundry, my job, my lesson plans, my students, their parents. This list goes on forever. I had to look at my life...and remove myself from the picture. That was an adjustment.

As I adjusted, I got to know my nurses very well. They became my girlfriends. My doctor came to visit me every morning. My cleaning lady visited me every day too. The cafeteria friends who delivered food. Every day someone came to see me, thank goodness. My mother came almost every day. Some days I would just tell her not to come, though I knew she wanted to. She was also caring for Nana at the same time and between the two of us, she was exhausted. She was also taking Riley duty at my house some days.

Russ, Mom, and my mother in law shared Mommy duty. This was tough on all of us. We all know grandmothers don't follow Mommy rules and this was very tough for Riley to understand. It was hard on all of us, but I am so thankful that we had them to help. Russ spent many nights with me. I was so thankful to have him there. I wished he could be there every night, but Riley needed his Daddy more. I had to let him have his Daddy.

During the day I didn't read like I thought I would...I think I couldn't focus on a book long enough to get through it. I only read two the entire time I was in the hospital. Magazines, yes--I could be distracted and read them. I watched Ellen every morning and Jimmy Fallon at night. In between, HGTV and Food Network were background noise.

I obsessed about Baby's development by googling "23 weeks and 2 days", "24 weeks and 1 day" every day. Wondering where baby was in the scheme of developing. I read (what seemed like) millions of stories about pre-term deliveries. Some of them hopeless, some of them hopeful. I looked for photos...some I wanted to see, to prepare myself, but some I didn't. I never knew what I would get into and that frightened me.

I was overwhelmed with visitors. Every day either my mother or my husband were there. Almost every other day, an additional friend or family member came. That was overwhelming. My friends, family, and co-workers really showed up to support me through this. Visits, calls, emails, books, cookies, meals, flowers, my awesome stylist was sent (by my team) to give me a blowout in the hospital, pedicures a la Sonia, gifts for me (and my entire family), fall decorations, Christmas trees, movies, and even a surprise Bunco! I've never felt more loved. Never felt more completely overwhelmed with the generosity of family, friends...and even some strangers.

All in all, this experienced changed me. For the better, I hope. I'm no longer ignorant to pre-term complications, pregnancies, and births. We made new forever friends in that hospital, in our time of fear we had each other to talk to. The Bett's and the Desormeaux's are friends I will have forever. Our boys will tell stories and play together one day. They each have their similar but very different story to tell. We are all so lucky to have each other...and our boys. The hospital staff, I can't say enough about my nurse's (well, most of them), doctors, the security guard, the housekeeper. They kept me going. I looked forward to their visits every day, every week. In a way, I miss that.

This post could ramble for eternity...and it just might, but important thing is that we made it. Russ through his journey, me through mine, Riley through his, and Kace of course. The thing that I always knew while I was in the hospital was that God would protect me. He had a plan. Yes, it differed from mine at the time. Every night I went to bed, I felt safe. Safe and comforted. I knew we would be okay.

Today...October 7, 2010, we are better than okay.

It's Fall, Y'all!

2010-09-27T14:58:00.003-05:00

Fall is my favorite season! I anxiously await its arrival....and everything that comes with it: football, cooler weather, hoodies, jeans, long sleeves, coffee to warm me up, Pumpkin Spice Latte's, soup, opening a window, orange, brown, Lucky Penny nail polish, comfort food/casseroles, and I could go on!

Riley has been anxiously awaiting the arrival of our Fall Directions he calls them....now he has decorations down, but it sure was cute hearing him ask when we could put out our fall directions!

Well, yesterday the went out. We started with the scarecrow on the front porch Riley named Jolly. He couldn't wait to put that little guy out and was so proud to help. We put out pumpkins, candles, scarecrows, acorns, pears, leaves, and still have a little more to do.

As I was unpacking the decorations, an overwhelming feeling came over me. I didn't pack up these things last year, I only took them out. Some of the decorations were gifts during my hospital stay last year. The flood came back...I missed the entire fall season last year. Yes, special friends and family visited and brought me pumpkin lattes, pumpkin decorations, soup, Indian corn, etc., but it's not the same from a hospital bed.

My "anniversary" is coming up. I've come so far, we've come so far. I've learned so much, I've taken in so much, I think differently, and every day I'm thankful. Thankful for my wonderful family, amazing friends, and the simplicity of a season. A season of change, excitement, and wonder...an entire season to be thankful.

Happy, but Drowning!

2010-09-20T11:38:00.004-05:00

So it's been a while, hasn't it? Life is good...but there's no time for myself. I'm still adjusting to being the mother of a 4 1/2 year old and a (one day away from being) a 9 month old. I love my boys, they are a gift. But WOW....where did my life go?

My alarm goes off at 5. I'm up to shower, dress, makeup, and do hair. Cute hair, are you kidding? Ponytail is the cutest hair I can muster up unless it's a special occasion! Sad, but true. The ponytail might even be a wet one--classy.

I pack the diaper bag: 3 bottles, veggies, cereal. Pack Riley's lunch (he packs it every other day), pack my lunch (pray for leftovers), and then figure out what to eat for breakfast. In the car, of course. Coffee and nothing for me usually. Milk and something...for Riley (looking for some suggestions here if you have any)!

Hopefully I've accomplished all of that by 6:25 because that's when I wake the 4 year old.

Kace usually peeps somewhere/anywhere between 5 & 7. Usually he'll go back to sleep, but not always. I'll pick him up, hold him, and if we're lucky, he'll sleep a few more minutes. If we're not lucky, I have to pass him off to Daddy, who is NOT a morning person (but getting a liiiittttttle better now that he doesn't really have a choice). I might make Kace a bottle.

Riley's so much better early than I expected him to be. He doesn't want to wake up, but who does? We move on. Get dressed, brush teeth, brush hair, grab stuff, and go. Of course it never goes that quickly in real life, but we try. I need to be out of the door by 6:45.

At work, I work with some amazing people. I'm blessed to work with 3 very special ladies on my team. Ladies who took care of me and my kids while I disappeared to go to the hospital last year. I was SO looking forward to taking care of them for a change and with my new schedule (Riley's schedule), they're still taking care of me. Bless their hearts. I love them though. I just don't have time to be with them. Heaven forbid I eat with my friends and relax. Instead, I'm trying to catch up on being behind.

I was used to being at work around 7. I can't drop Riley off until 7:15.....and when I say drop off, I mean I have to park, get out, and walk him in. Go through 3 crossing guards, 2 school zones, and about 482 stop signs...all seem to be in a 20 mph school zone. Oh my patience is being tested!! Then in the afternoon, after my kids go and the building is quiet, I have about an hour to prepare/plan before I have to go and pick Riley up. Not enough time I tell ya!

I depend on those special girls to do my job....make copies, finish planning, and then they have to fill me in. It stresses me out tremendously. They have their own selves, students, families, and jobs to take care of. UGH!

Back home and it's time to get dinner ready.....with Riley and Kace needing love, diapers, milk, conversation, a snack, some attention, etc. What I wouldn't give to sit and be with them at this time. If I do, I'm worrying about dinner, the clothes in the dryer, or the dishes in the dishwasher.

While I eat I'm feeding an impatient 9 month old or bribing a 4 year old to finish his meal. Sometimes both. My poor husband has a 2 hour drive to work and back and I never know when he'll be home. That's tough too. Sometimes 5, sometimes 7 or later....

Don't feel sorry for me, please understand that I love my children, love my husband (who has his own lengthy version of this blog too), love my home, my family, and my job more than ever. I just don't feel that I'm succeeding at any of them right now!! I miss my friends, I miss watching a movie with my husband, jeez....even a sitcom, a conversation. I know this will eventually be a breeze ...and I'll get the hang of it, right? In the mean time, bear with me, please. I'm honestly doing the best I can...and it's not good enough for me!

There you have it. My 6 minutes of alone time. I should've been working. Or going to the restroom or something.

At the Movies

2010-08-20T18:31:00.007-05:00

Riley very patiently waited to fill up that penny jar, but he finally filled it with pennies representing good choices! We anxiously awaited this day (all 3 of us) so that we could go see Toy Story 3 at the movie theater. This would be Riley's first trip...we thought his attention span might finally make it through a movie at the theater. We did it up right with popcorn, peanut M&M's, and Reese's Pieces!
We all loved the movie, of course, we knew we would. What a great "first!" Now to fill up that happy jar again!!

A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned

2010-08-16T21:35:00.003-05:00

We've had a challenging summer with our precious little 4 year old. He's still the same little cutie, but with a stubborn streak (wonder who he gets THAT from)? I took the "marble jar" idea and incorporated it into a reward system at home. We have 2 glasses and a handful of pennies. One is the "happy jar" and one is the "sad jar." Riley gets pennies in the jar based on the type of choices he makes. We worked hard to follow directions, listen, and say nice words to earn pennies in our happy jar for making good choices. Saying bad words ("stupid") earned a penny in the sad jar. Riley finally got all of the pennies in the happy jar and was rewarded with at treat of his choosing.

He had to call his grandmothers to tell them the GREAT news! He was so proud of himself--and so were we. We can't wait to take him to his first movie at the movie theater!!

best. dog. ever.

2010-08-10T22:57:00.005-05:00

We said goodbye to our sweet puppy tonight. Doak went to play with his friends in Heaven. We knew it was coming, but that didn't make it any easier. We miss him already...

I'll miss your slobbery shaking self slobbering all over the walls. Thank you Magic Eraser!

I'll miss your soft, fuzzy ears and your black, velvety nose.

I'll miss the way you HAD to lay on someone's feet, the way you had to be where we were, better yet RIGHT under us.

I'll miss your pretty singing voice.

I'll miss Russ snapping to make you stop licking.

I'll miss you prancing around in your puppy boots.

I'll miss putting water on your food so you could lick up the gravy first.

I'll miss you laying on any blanket that just might be hanging off of the couch or the bed...you especially liked to lay on the comfortor when we changed the sheets.

I'll miss you barking when we are having conversations that don't involve you.

I'll miss you running to the door every time the doorbell rings AND when anyone says, "Who is it?"

I'll miss hearing you snore...and watching your legs run as you dream about chasing those cats!

*Photo Credit: Tina Russell (shotofwhimsyphotog.com)

Put Me in, Coach!

2010-07-25T21:59:00.000-05:00

Riley's first T-ball practice was today. He was so excited...and so were we. We've never played or practiced before (except in our front yard), so this was new on many levels.

The teacher in me spotted the youngest one on the team very quickly, my son. It was so obvious! One on one with a coach, he paid attention and listened better than I expected. He listened so well that he was "deprogrammed" from throwing underhand! We have lots of work to do, but our little guy made his mommy and daddy so proud today. I'll only choose a few of the 95 photos I took to share!!

*During fielding practice, Riley proudly got his coach's attention to show him that he could snap!
*He thinks he made a homerun because he ran base-by-base to home!
*He asked when he was going to get to play "over there" (which was first base--he was ready for some more action!)

Eat, Play, Love

2010-07-23T09:45:00.006-05:00

I'm currently reading Eat, Pray, Love and thought I'd put a little kiddie twist on the title for this post. Like the book so far and it's making me want to head back to Italy, for a very extended period of time! That won't happen, so I'll live vicariously through the author, as we do when we read. This was a fun way for me to give a little picture of where my boys are right now.

AND share this photo that I'm so incredibly proud of. I snapped it one evening while Kace was sitting in his Bumbo eating...as the meal progressed, the setting sun lit up his face and it was beautiful. Then Riley came in from the backyard and I was so lucky to capture this well-lit moment. I just LOVE this!

Riley:

Eat: He's always been a good eater, except for scallops, which do have an unfriendly texture. This week, he particulary liked the Honey Mustard Chicken I made and served with asparagus and some cheesy/veggie noodles. Funny thing about this meal is that he ate all of the veggies first, then the chicken.

He loves snacks--right now it's apples with yogurt/peanut buter dip, Nutri-Grain bars, or applesauce (with a scoop of cottage cheese), or yogurt--blueberry is his favorite flavor. He's always drank lots of milk and while I was in the hospital, he expected chocolate milk with every glass. Well, when Mommy arrived, that was no longer the case. He still does get chocolate milk--a little chocolate and a lot of milk, but I also try to make sure he alternates a cup of water between non-water drinks. He knows the pattern too, "Mommy, this was milk, so water is next."

Play: He is still loving riding his bicycle and doing beautifully without those training wheels. We love to go outside in the evenings after it's cooled off and hang out with our neighbors and their children while they ride bikes and play.

He has learned how to play a video game that Mimi bought him and has just taken an interest in it lately. I'm very thankful for the volume control and the headphones. He just doesn't understand why we don't want to hear the game he's playing. Ugh!

He's also playing a little more alone. He will get out his cars--usually the ones with lights and sirens--and zoom them around to emergency after emergency. I'll hear him pretend playing and it's fun to listen to the little adventure he's creating. He also likes his monster trucks and crashing them into each other.

Riley is also joining a baseball team and will have his first practice on Sunday. We're excited about this new adventure!

Love: Riley has been such a challenge lately. I keep wondering what I've done wrong. It seems like everything we say or do gets a "No", "Never", or "I don't want to" and it is exhausting. It drains me physically and emotionally. There have been countless conversations about good choices and bad choices, hurting feelings, listening, following directions, etc. I've even spanked his sweet little hiney. Something I thought I would never do.

When he's not angry and defiant, he's the sweetest, most loving little guy. He loves to snuggle and is generous with hugs and kisses. He loves to "help" take care of his litte buddy.

Kace:

Eat: Kace is so happy at mealtimes! I tell him what he's eating while I'm feeding him. He is eating apples, pears, acorn squash, butternut squash, sweet potatoes, bananas, peaches, rice cereal, and oatmeal cereal. Plums and peas are up next! He's significantly reduced his bottle feedings--or at least it seems that way. There for a while I felt like all I did was feed Kace, make bottles, wash bottles, and start over again. Now he's having 4 6-8 ounce bottles a day with 2 feedings of solid food.

Play: He's really grabbing things with hands right now, trying to grab anything and everything--our faces and anything that's not his toys in particular! He's continues to roll over, but has only rolled from his belly back over to his back once. He's tolerating tummy time so much better now and can lift his head and shoulders completely off the ground. He loves the rings on his car seat carrier (and will be outgrowing that carseat soon), his exer-saucer, playmat, and sitting in his Bumbo watching the action in the kitchen.

Kace has discovered that he can not only play with toes, but he can get them into his mouth! They're a new little "always with me" toy for him. He also had a splash fest in the bath tub recently. He went all out and had a great time!

Love: Kace has a smile for everyone, but I think he favors me right now. I'm anxious about going to back to work because we think separation anxiety is kicking in. It's going to be tough all over again. He loves it when his Daddy tickles his belly, under his chin, and in his armpits! He always has a great laugh with Daddy. He also loves it when Riley talks to him in nonsense words or sings silly songs.

Kace loves his brown Lovie that Ashley and Cami gave him. It's the object he's really shown to favor. It helps calm him down and comfort himself to sleep.

And ending with a funny...because this is my blog!

Funny: This week, while we were eating breakfast, Riley said, "Mom, I don't want to get old. Do you get old when you get married?" I hesitantly asked, "Is Mommy old?" (please don't say yes, please don't say yes) "No." he (correctly) replied. We were both extremely relieved after that conversation!! :-)

Mother's Day Out

2010-07-15T16:47:00.007-05:00

Russ left to go out of town this morning for a good friend's bachelor party. Ever hear of a bachelor party leaving at 7 a.m. Thursday morning? Hmph! I'd been dreading this weekend for some time for many reasons: I miss him when he's gone, I'd be with the boys all weekend alone--missing my partner in crime, my relief pitcher, and it's tough managing a strong-willed 4 year old and a chunky monkey 6 month old!

Things started looking up when I scheduled a lunch date and a play date/happy hour. Then Nunny and Buzz decided they wanted to go to the ranch this morning and take Riley with them. He eagerly stayed home from school today, helped pack his bag, and off he went, blowing kisses and announced from his carseat, "Look, Mommy, I can hug you from here!" while hugging himself...and melting my heart. Mimi and G were looking forward to keeping Kace while I went to lunch.

I met Rachael at Mandola's Market. I wanted to go somewhere I'd never been and let Rachael choose the spot. It was excellent. The place was packed, it's a market/bakery/deli/restaurant. I ordered a Veggie Panini and it was delicious. I ate half for lunch and wished I had room for the other half...so I saved it for dinner!

(Thanks to the you, Mr. Complete Stranger Man, for taking these pictures of us. You did a great job and doesn't Rachael look GORGEOUS?)

After lunch, we walked over to Embellish and had a pedicure. It is a girlie little boutique and salon. Exactly what us Mommy's-of-two-boys needed!

Our pedicurists brought out these beautiful, hammer coppered pots filled with hot water for our toes. I want one.

and warm, cozy neck wraps

Rach went for a sparkly turquoise and I found the orange I've been looking for!

It was just what I needed!

Battle of the Squashes

2010-07-12T09:50:00.004-05:00

Today Kace was introduced to Acorn Squash. I was honestly worried that he might not like this because it's the least sweet of all the foods he's tried so far. So, I snapped a picture of the butternut face and the acorn face.

Butternut Squash (introduced last Sunday)

and Today's Special: Acorn Squash

Judging by his eagerness and facial expressions, he loved them both!

Lofty Goals

2010-07-11T11:47:00.003-05:00

I'm typing a little list of things I'd love to accomplish around the house soon. Like I said...I'd "love" to accomplish these things and in a perfect world, with no interruptions, I might get it done. I'd be happy to finish just a few in the near future.

1. Paint my archway and island a deep red.
2. Purge, purge, purge. My stuff, everyone's stuff. Ugh!
3. Organize all of my scrapbooking stuff and start scrapping again.
4. Create some sort of mud room in our entry way. Somewhere to put all of our stuff we dump on the island.
5. Cabinets in my laundry room. And our water closet.
6. File all of our bills/papers instead of just making the stack bigger, which means more filing later.
7. Start adding photos to my frame collage in the dining room.
8. Need a family of 4 photo in this house. I'm embarassed there isn't one yet.
9. Books....keep them to decorate the shelves with or get rid of 'em.
10. The backyard...where do I begin? We've planted nothing this year and I miss being out there, but where will we find the time? Russ does a great job of keeping it mowed but there are no new plants and not much color. Really...I'd like the DIY Yard Crashers guy to kidnap us while we're at Home Depot. Now THAT would be awesome!

I'll stop for now...the minute I walk away and post this, I'll think of more things to add. You know, it's just like when I get home from the grocery store, I have to start a new list before I even finish putting all of the groceries away.

Apples, Bananas, and Pears...Oh My!

2010-07-07T10:24:00.011-05:00

We are well on our way eating solid foods. Kace loves sitting in his Bumbo and now I think I've ruined him because he thinks it's mealtime every time he sits in it. It all began with rice cereal (June 21, 2010 on his 1/2 birthday). We practiced that process for about a week so we could get better at it. First day I was worried, but did see improvements with each feeding! I keep waiting for this preemie delay to appear somewhere...

Then we added apples,

pears,

(Notice he still likes to be in charge of the spoon, which makes things much more interesting! And...as you can see, he doesn't like mealtime to be over.)

and bananas.

Boy, does he love it all! Did you notice how much he still loves hanging onto that spoon AND how disappointed he is when mealtime is over? Poor guy...

Up next: butternut squash, acorn squash, and sweet potatoes. We can't wait!!

Dear Sons

2010-06-29T21:58:00.004-05:00

Dear Riley,

I love the way you are using so many new, grown up words correctly and I also love that you still say "lasterday" for yesterday. I'll be sad when that word vanishes from your vocabulary. I won't be sad when "stupid" vanishes from your vocabulary....and a few other choice words you've learned.

I love to snuggle with you in your pajamas. I don't love that you like to sleep in your underwear sometimes now. I think you might be getting big.

I love that you are such a good eater. You'll eat just about anything AFTER you tell me you don't like it first. "I don't like chicken." "I don't like broccoli." "I don't like pasta." You always eat it for me, thank you. You know butternut squash, asparagus, avocado, acorn squash, and various other fruits and veggies when you see them. I think that is pretty cool.

I love that you love to help me cook. And that you learn so much while you're in the kitchen with me. Like this morning, when I was working out, you taught Daddy how to make a smoothie. "Daddy, you just put a banana, some blueberries, some strawberries, and some milk in the blender. And push this button. See Daddy, I taught you how to make a smoothie!" When Daddy told me that story, I was so proud. We both were.

I love that you love your baby brother. I love that you can make him happy and make him smile. I don't love when you get too close to his face, touch his things with your dirty hands, or forget how to be "easy." He's just a baby and I know it's so hard for a 4 year old boy to know what gentle means.

I love going upstairs every night before bed and kissing your cheek goodnight. Daddy and I have done that since you were a tiny baby. You are so peaceful in your p.j.'s, cuddled up with your Dog.

Dear Kace,

I love your rolls. You ankle rolls, your wrist rolls, and that you can roll over from your back to your belly! And your belly to your back--once.

I'm so proud of you for being a good eater. We practiced cereal for a week and I wondered if it would get better. You spit every bit out and I think more was on your clothes than in your belly. That's okay, we tried again the next day...and the next...and the next. And guess what, you've got this eating thing down--I'm impressed. You loved the new flavor of apples and tomorrow you'll get to try pears! What an exciting time! By the way, your brother has to taste test all of the food I make for you first. He's tried your apples, pears, acorn squash, and butternut squash. He says it's delish!

I love the way you light up when you see me or hear my voice. My heart swells with pride and love. I am so proud of what God helped us do, buddy. I don't thank Him enough.

I love that you are grabbing things and holding things that look interesting to you. And you want to hold that bottle of yours so bad, but you're just not ready. And that spoon. If you could feed yourself I would let you. Sometimes I think you want to eat the spoon, not the yummy food on iy! I have to trick you and let you hold onto my pinky so you "think" you're feeding yourself. Mommy's quick and figured that trick out pretty quickly.

I love that you are so laid back. You are very easy going, you don't fuss at all. Unless you're hungry...

I love that you like to cook with me. I sit you up on the bar in your Bumbo and you watch me and I tell you about what I'm doing. Thanks for keeping me company.

I love your Fozzie bear voice, I could talk to you all day long! Daddy and I can do a great impersonation of a conversation with you. Mimi thinks you've already said "Mama." Riley says you said "no" today. I thought I heard you say "Yeah." Were you singing Usher or repeating that word that Riley says to you 1008 times EVERY day in his baby voice? Either way, I love it.

Boys, thanks for making me one proud, exhausted, happy Mommy! I love you.

Morning Son

2010-06-26T08:19:00.002-05:00

We were up before the sun, just the two of us as usual, so we had a little photo session as the bright, morning sun beamed through the front door.

Every day he discovers something new. This is what being a Mommy is all about.

The Simple Woman's Daybook

2010-06-25T19:10:00.001-05:00

FOR TODAY... Friday, June 25, 2010

Outside my window... sun, hot, staying inside where no one sweats...for now. Outside when it cools a bit.

I am thinking... how lucky I am to be home with these boys AND how nice it would be to have an opportunity to do something without them!

I am thankful for...my boys, my family, silence, chocolate (just a bite or two)

I am wearing... shorts and a t-shirt

I am remembering... Kace in the hospital 6 months ago, how far we've come, how blessed we are. I was cleaning up and organizing in his room yesterday and went through hospital momentos and cards. I had a good cry up there.

I am going... to cross two more things off of my "to do list" before I go to bed. And hopefully to Rockport for the 4th to be with family...and hopefully NOT a hurricane!

I am currently reading...Eat, Pray, Love

I am hoping... my grandmother's will is probated soon. Lots of loose ends to tie up. Also hoping Kace loves applesauce, pears, bananas, acorn squash, and butternut squash!

On my mind...starting to make baby food again! Looking forward to this adventure...

Noticing that... my pores are getting larger and larger!

Pondering these words... "Mom, I like you. You're my favorite Mommy in the whole world. And you're pretty." Boy, I wish I saw myself that way...

From the kitchen...leftovers, you pick: chicken alfredo pizza with alfredo sauce, hamburger pizza, or green chile chicken casserole. With spicy caesar salad.

Around the house...things are staying a little more tidy now that we all stop and pick up 10 things a few times a day.

One of my favorite things.....is Kace laughing, when Russ comes home from work, and when Riley hugs/kisses me for no reason.

A picture I'm sharing...

From my garden this morning while I was out watering with the boys. It makes me happy.

(From The Simple Woman's Daybook)

And Along Came a Spider

2010-06-25T09:42:00.000-05:00

I've missed gardening and watching things grow. With a new baby at home and a whipper snapper of a 4 year old (aren't they all?), we didn't get around to planting anything in the backyard this year. What is growing was tough enough to handle being ignored for quite some time...and a few freezes this winter.

This week, I decided something back there should be watered and tended to. I make a cup of coffee, take Kace out in his exer-saucer and he plays and smiles while I water. I've enjoyed it. Riley's slept in and he eventually comes out in his pajamas...which I love.

This morning while watering, I saw several spider webs...and of course they look so cool with drops of water on them, but his one I had to go in and get my camera for.

And along came a spider...MAN!

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

2010-06-21T21:43:00.001-05:00

We are so blessed to live in a cove with great neighbors. Not just neighbors you wave to when you drive up, but neighbors you enjoy being around. Neighbors you hope never leave. Neighbors who have children that play well together with your children. As long as your child can be the boss. Ha, that's MY child. Neighbors to hang out with. We are so blessed AND we have some new neighbors across the street we've been getting to know and they fit right in. Now if we could just get our "former" next door neighbors to move back into their house that hasn't sold yet....

The Helmet Heads

Half Birthday

2010-06-21T20:57:00.000-05:00

6 months ago I gave birth to this precious little boy.

After spending 75 days in the hospital...my birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and my husband's birthday in the hospital. And let's not forget football season. Argh!

We spent 2 weeks in NICU.

We are home, happy, and healthy. Kace is definitely a people person, he'll look right at you and give you the brightest smile you've ever seen! He loves his Mommy, Daddy, and big brother. He's really started talking, he's discovered his feet and ears in the last couple of days, and we'll be having our first solid food this week.

I'm anxious to start making his baby food! He LOVES to eat, so I anticipate this change going over like a charm. He is NOT patient when it comes to eating--and Riley wasn't either. Seems to be the only time he fusses is when he's hungry. So many people have commented about how relaxed and laid back he is--he must get that from his Mommy, yeah right!

Happy Half Birthday!

First Date

2010-06-18T17:15:00.002-05:00

Riley's grandmother asked me if it would be okay if she took him to the park and McDonalds on Friday. "Absolutely!" couldn't come out of my mouth fast enough.

They had a great time! Riley convinced Nunny to visit 3 parks AND have lunch at Old McDonald's on their date. I ~~think~~ know they had a blast...and Riley had a great nap when he got home (hopefully Nunny did too)!

(yes, my very on son took this photo!)

Lemonade for sale!

When can we do this again?? :-)

We've Come a Long Way, Baby!

2010-06-05T21:28:00.001-05:00

Tonight, my little muffin man drank an 8 oz. bottle (in its entirety) for the first time. I was thinking it was time to try and tonight we did and he drank every drop. It's hard to believe that 5 months ago we were in NICU trying to pour 30 mL into him. The last "task" he had to complete before checking out of NICU was to drink 30 mL in 30 minutes. It worried us so much...it just didn't seem like he would ever do it. You've come a long way, baby! We are so proud of you and so blessed. Goodnight! (Why don't you go ahead and sleep until 6 or so in the morning, while you're at it...waking up at 4:30 is not so fun, is it?)

6:43 a.m. update: He DID sleep until 6:00 on the nose...I'm so disappointed in myself for not trying that ~~sooner~~ earlier (that other word is a bad word at my house)!

Things To Do at The Ranch

2010-06-04T11:24:00.001-05:00

I was looking forward to spending some time at the ranch Memorial Day weekend. School was out, I needed a getaway, and this place is perfect. Riley is so independent out here...frightening at times, and of course my in-laws are there to help entertain the boys! I love the peacefulness of being out here, the animals, hanging out with family and friends, and not having the t.v. on. My only complaint is that there is no dishwasher! Our dear friends Cindy and Shayne joined us for the weekend. I think we all needed it! There are so many things to do out here in the middle of nowhere...

admire the critters...

eat, eat, and plan what you're going to eat next...

Not pictured: Peach cobbler, corn dip, ranch dip, veggie tray, breakfast casserole, hamburgers, cream cheese stuffed jalapenos, beans, oh goodness I'm stuffed all over again.

relax...

work...

play...

admire the scenery...

and smile!

What a great weekend!

Good Morning, Sunshine!

2010-05-29T07:03:00.001-05:00

This sweet little boy is the reason I can wake up an hour and a half before my alarm goes off on a weekday morning AND at 4:15 on a Saturday morning. He is such a happy little guy, any time of day. His smiles can can warm my heart for days...and he keeps on giving them to me! I'm not the only one he smiles at either, they aren't just for Mommy.
He has a hard time being this happy when he's: hungry, tired, or needing some love. Who can blame him?

One Year Ago

2010-05-18T22:59:00.001-05:00

We were here...

Aaahhhh.....

Thank You and Happy Mother's Day!

2010-05-09T18:09:00.000-05:00

Thank you Riley for making me a Mommy. I never knew love like this...
Thank you Kace for making me a Mommy of 2. Thank you for teaching me to not take motherhood for granted and making me realize what a special gift it is.
Thank you Russ for being a wonderful Daddy and husband.
Thank you Mom for always going above and beyond for me. You always have, even when I didn't deserve it....and thanks for loving my boys.
Thank you Nana for making me feel as if your home was also mine.
Thank you Karol for being a mother-in-law that I enjoy...and thanks for loving my boys.
Thank you to my Mommy friends. Thank you for leading the way, sharing your stories that made me laugh and cry, thank you for listening. To my Mommy to be friends--I hope I can provide the support for you that my friends have provided for me. It's an amazing journey!

It takes a village...and I couldn't do what I do without my family. Through the frustration, worry, exhaustion, and lack of sleep, my life wouldn't be complete without my two boys. They have taught me so much about life, about teaching, about myself, and others. I learn every day from them. Every day I want to be a better person for them. I want to make them as proud of me as I am of them. I love you and I'm so proud to be your Mommy!

(We had to get home from Chicago so I could snuggle with my boys on Mother's Day...spit up and all!)

Chicago (The Next 24 Hours)

2010-05-08T23:13:00.000-05:00

We slept great in our cozy bed, woke up the next morning ready to squeeze in all we could. Russ brewed us each a cup of coffee in our one cup coffee maker to tie us over until we had a very light breakfast. The plan was to eat something little so that we would be hungry for some Chicago style pizza for lunch.

We packed up our room and I said goodbye to my favorite chair...

and we headed out for a "light" breakfast to save room for some Chicago-style pizza. We passed a flower stand that caught my eye.

The plan was to have a "light" breakfast somewhere so we would be hungry for our Chicago style pizza. We walked to an area we hadn't explored yet and stopped at The Corner Bakery. Nobody ate as "light" as we hoped, but we all enjoyed our meal! Hmmm...would we be able to eat deep dish pizza in a few hours?

This one is Donald Trump's latest...

We ran into this little cutie who lives in the area and is somewhat of a greeter. She loves talking to people about "her" town. She goes on her daily walks and hangs out here and visits with tourists from all over the world. She was thrilled to meet some people from Sweden (and Texas too, of course)!

A friend from high school that I was recently reacquainted with at our 20th reunion lives in Chicago and recommended this place. We walked in and were informed the pizza took 1 hour and 15 minutes to bake. Gulp! We had a plane to catch...

He also recommended this place. Little did we know it was the same owner, second location...caddy corner across the street! They said the pizza needed 45 minutes to an hour to bake here, so we grabbed a table and ordered a pepperoni pizza.

Russ and I actually prefer a thin crust with little sauce. We had no idea we'd love this pizza as much as we did! We saw it on Food Network last night!

We quickly grabbed a cab and headed back to the hotel--we were in a hurry now to catch our plane that left at 4:45.

Goodbye Knickerbocker! I chose you because I loved your name. You didn't let me down!

Goodbye wonderful friend who lives a million miles away, though every time I see you, it feels like you never left. Until we meet again...Spain? Fiji? London? Maine? How about Texas?

Have a great time at the Blackhawks game tonight!

Goodbye Chicago, we'll be back!

Home. Family. Friends. My boys.

Chicago 2010 (The First 24 Hours)

2010-05-07T22:22:00.000-05:00

Monday night I received an email from Lotta, our dear friend who lives in Sweden, telling me that she unexpectedly landed tickets to a NHL playoff game in Chicago (a surprise birthday present for her husband) and they were going--could we meet them there...in 4 days!

There were a million reasons we couldn't and about 3 reasons we could. We looked at airfare which was outrageous, of course. Kept looking, hoping for a weekend getaway fare. Asked our mothers if they were up for keeping the boys (they're angels...they said "yes"), and actually booked a flight through a flight/hotel package for a decent price. Going to work on Friday, then flying to Chicago--to see Thomas and Lotta...and a city that's been at the top of our "to visit" list for quite a while!

We were joining them as a surprise to Thomas. He had no idea we were coming until we knocked on their hotel room door...and he was in bed, exhausted from traveling! We didn't plan the surprise that way--we wanted to just show up at a bar while they were having a drink, but our plane was delayed, so we made it work another way. After we showed up at their hotel room, we wanted to go somewhere for dinner--it was about 11pm and I hadn't eaten since lunch that day (and in first grade, we eat at 10:40). The only place open that served dinner and drinks was The Cheesecake Factory. Not the Chicago fare I was looking for, but it was close and it was open!

I wish I had photos to show you the spectacle that awaited us in there. It was prom night. Ghetto Prom. I didn't know whether I should stare, laugh, or leave. It was kind of scary and funny at the same time. We were the ONLY table of people NOT wearing a white tux, wing tips, gold teeth, sequins, and 6 inch heels. I wanted to take a picture, but I was afraid. The host, who was visibly irritated at the standing room only patrons, grabbed my arm and said, "YOU look normal, come with me!" We got a table, just like that. We caught up and took in the scenery! We worked on planning our weekend together in Chicago.

We experienced "The Windy City" late Friday night as we walked back to our hotels. We were lucky enough to book a room that was a 3 minute walk away from Thomas and Lotta's hotel. We stayed at The Millenium Knickerbocker and enjoyed it!

Saturday morning started with a walk to look around and find somewhere fun to eat breakfast. We were looking at a map and headed to a diner someone had recommended last night, but a woman stopped, said, "Can I help you find something?" and we said, "Breakfast!"

She recommended a cafe and The Corner Bakery. Since Russ and I liked The Corner Bakery, we opted for the new place we'd never tried. Along The Millenium Mile tulips were planted everywhere and looked beautiful. One of my favorite flowers...and they certainly don't do this in Texas!

We loved the place (and apparently lots of others do too--there was a 20-30 minute wait when we arrived and as we walked out there was the same amount of people waiting) and were so thankful that woman stopped us!

Next stop: Navy Pier!

The views of downtown from the pier are incredible. I think I took 1000 of these pictures from different angles!

For some reason I'm developing an interest in lighthouses...

We had more fun in these funhouse mirrors than 4 adults should. It was hilarious!

This was a great photo opp. that I couldn't pass up. Don't know these young Navy men, but I'm glad I saw them standing there.

We hopped in a cab and headed to The Willis Tower (formerly The Sears Tower--the name changed about 6 months ago) for more beautiful views!

The walk up was as beautiful as the view from the top. There was so much history and interesting information in addition to the spectacular views. I took a ton of pictures on the way up...

Classic!

We have arrived at the 103rd floor!

And I'm free....free fallin'!!

And now, back down to the ground--we're headed to Millenium Park! The Bean was a highlight for me.

Face Fountains were awesome. Water is rolling down the sides, though you can't really tell from the photos.

It began to rain and everyone ran under The Bean for cover. It was a great experience being under there with all of those strangers. Pretty cool! Here we are in the reflection.

And more tulips!!

Are we tired yet? Now what? Lotta's ready for a drink!!

The Flying Pig martini...came with a plastic pink pig and everything! We enjoyed talking to the couple behind her too, they were in town from NYC visiting their grandchildren...and enjoying some brandy. I wanna be like that when I'm old(er).

A Guiness for My Babe

Another girlie drink for Thomas....Russ is NOT impressed!

And a vodka and grapefruit for me.

This was another highlight for me. Sitting around a little table in the lobby of our hotel. We caught up some more, talked about our families, our next adventure together, and how wonderful it was that we were able to unexpectedly meet again. Almost a year ago, we met in the south of France and spent a fabulous week together. We continued making plans for the remainder of our Chicago time together. We made dinner reservations at The Rosebud (across the street), supposedly it's Charles Barkley's favorite restaurant in town and planned to go to the top of the John Hancock Building for drinks and the best view of the city afterward. Lotta and I went to the room to get dressed for dinner while the boys squeezed in an extra adventure to Wrigley Field and stopped at a pub for a beer!

The apartments across the street had stadium seats build on the rooftops. How cool is that?

Lovin' it!

I wanted to see the field too, but it was perfect timing for us to get dressed and the guys to have a little fun without the girls.

Lotta and I finished getting ready together and enjoyed our girl time as well. I loved this chair in our hotel room and she looks beautiful sitting in it!

Russ gives Thomas the stamp of approval on this drink!

WOW! This was so much bigger in person. Russ ordered prime rib--the special of the day...Flintstone Style! Our waitress said it was about 32 ounces (bone and fat included)...and he ate most of it!

Tired and incredibly full, but we have much more to do and see!

Honestly, we were so tired we weren't loads of fun up here. The view was spectacular and Russ was anxious to go to The Green Mill. We'd heard great things about the jazz there...and that it used to be a speakeasy where Al Capone frequented. Thomas, Lotta, and I took a nap in the backseat on the way there.

We were there, but we weren't buckets of fun! Sorry, Babe. Can I go to bed now?

20 Years?

2010-04-28T20:56:00.001-05:00

Last Saturday was my high school reunion, my 20th! Where has the time gone? I don't feel that old! It all came flooding back, that insecure little girl walking the hallways of Anderson High School, and I doubted whether or not I should go. I pondered on it for months and never bought my Weekend Pass. I finally asked our mothers to babysit the day before and they were both free, thankfully. I decided that if I didn't go, I would regret it. If I didn't go and didn't have fun, I could go home. If I didn't go at all, I couldn't take it back.

The day before, I read a blogpost written by one of our lovely class officers that basically said, "We want you here even if your waistline isn't small enough, your bank account isn't big enough, you're married, divorced, gay, whatever, we just want you here." They also went on to mention that we should all leave our judgemental selves at home. Wow, wouldn't high school be a more comfortable place for us all?

I drug my husband along, who graduated from a family of 69, not a high school like mine. He knew everyone in his class. I knew many, but not all. I knew he wasn't looking forward to it...I was having doubts myself! I really was excited though! Excited because I'm proud of who I am, proud to have a wonderful husband, proud to be a first grade teacher, proud of my two fabulous, adorable boys. I was anxious to see everyone and to hear what life had brought them since 1990.

The venue was Momo's, a live music venue on 6th Street, owned by a classmate of ours. We had a D.J. playing 80's tunes--perfect!

So glad I sucked it up...and my waistline (as much as I could)...and went. It was great to see everyone--we look better now than we did 20 years ago! Not only did we have a great time, but the invite said from 7-11 and I just knew we'd be home right afterwards. After the D.J. left, a Tom Petty cover band played that was great. We shocked ourselves (and our poor babysitters) and didn't leave until 1:30...and Russ had a great time too! It was great to see old friends, and become reacquainted with them. No regrets, except that I wish I had more time to catch up with some folks--and I didn't even get to talk to everyone I intended to! Thanks for a great night, Anderson High Class of 1990!

Interview

2010-04-16T20:50:00.002-05:00

My friend Stephanie at Classic Cuties has a tradition that I love. She interviews her children annually, asking the same question. I've wanted to do it before, but Riley was too young. No longer--he's full of opinions these days and always has something to say. Here's our First Annual Mommy Interview! (March 13, 2010)

Q: What is something your Mommy always says to you?
A: I love you.

Q: What makes Mommy happy?
A: When I be nice.

Q: What makes Mommy sad?
A: If I don't be nice.

Q: How does your Mommy make you laugh?
A: Make a funny face.

Q: What was your Mommy like as a child?
A: She liked Play Doh like I did!

Q: How old is your Mommy?
A: 730

Q: How tall is your Mommy?
A: Really, really, really tall

Q: What is her favorite thing to do?
A: Cook

Q: What does your Mommy do when you're not around?
A: Feed Kace

Q: If your Mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
A: For helping me clean up.

Q: What is your Mommy really good at?
A: puzzles

Q: What is your Mommy not so good at?
A: Big puzzles, like hard puzzles, the one with the longhorn, okay?

Q: What does your Mommy do for her job?
A: Go to school, a teacher

Q: What is your Mommy's favorite soup?
A: Soup

Q: What makes you proud of your Mommy?
A: When you be nice to me

Q: If she were a cartoon character, who would Mommy be?
A: The Pink Panther

Q: What do you and your Mommy do together?
A: Sing songs, play together, put puzzles together, go to the kite festival, tell stories, read books, and scratch my back

Q: How are you and your Mommy the same?
A: We watch movies.

Q: How are you and your Mommy different?
A: You're a grown up and I'm a kid.

Q: How do you know your Mommy loves you?
A: Because she's a sweet Mommy. She does funny stuff and puzzles.

Q: Where is your Mommy's favorite place to go?
A: To the kite festival

3 Months

2010-03-24T15:47:00.000-05:00

Today marks our 3rd month with Kace and it's been a beautiful roller coaster.

It seems like it's been one thing after another...and I'm not complaining...I think. Looking back on my pregnancy with him, it's been up and down constantly.

Pregnant!
Spotting X
First sonogram!
High protein count in blood=neural tubal defect X
3D sonogram to look for defect--all looks normal!
Leaking X
Everything looks normal--call if it continues!
Still leaking--back to doctor--admitted to hospital immediately X
Stay the weekend, get some IV fluids!
Just kidding, perinatologist says I'm staying until baby arrivesX
Meet great people in hospital, new friends!
Obsess over baby development and constantly worryX
Every day is a blessing!
As due date gets closer, worry about c-sectionX
Delivery date, no c-section!
Baby's feet turned in, look like they're "praying" X
It's positional, will be okay, not permanent!
Now constantly worrying about NICU baby X
Room in with baby!
Baby fails car seat test, (apnea) so no rooming in X
Baby comes home next day!
Mommy terrified to bring baby home--afraid of apnea episode X
We're all home!
Stuck at home, limit visitors, keep baby away from people (and their germs) X
Baby's growing, putting on weight!
2 month checkup doctor notices dimple and orders ultrasound X
Find out that spine is completely normal, NOT spina bifida!

Which brings me to today. Today I feel peaceful, but I don't always. I'm a worrier, just like my grandmother...and my mother. I was so thankful to get the message about the ultrasound today on my voicemail. If you know me, you know how I hate checking messages. Today I checked and was happy to hear the news, "The ultrasound is completely, completely normal!"

Thank you, God.

Smile!

2010-03-18T10:27:00.000-05:00

Kace is smiling so much lately and because the weather has been absolutely gorgeous most days lately, we've been getting some good outdoor time. I captured this precious smile yesterday evening while we were out enjoying the sunshine and grilling steaks, okra, and zucchini. Hope it's not dinner that he's smiling about...

2nd Annual

2010-03-17T21:20:00.000-05:00

Last Spring Break, Greta and I spent a day downtown shopping and eating. This year we continued the tradition and I enjoyed every moment. Like last year, it was SXSW (and this year St. Patrick's Day too) so there was a fun crowd to add to the atmosphere.

The weather was absolutely gorgeous, sunny and a little cool. We started with some coffee on the patio at Austin Java. I think we could have sat there all day...

We moved on to our next location and along the way snapped this one--I have a million pictures of the Frost Bank Building and will never tire of it. I think it's a stunner!

We were meeting Greta's sisters, a brother-in-law, and some of their friends' at Fado's for a green beer, but there were 7 of us and the cover was $15. I wasn't impressed. We stopped in another Irish pub for a margarita--ha! Everyone had a beer but me. Hey...it was green (ish)!

Our table was right across from these open doors and we could people watch while we listened to a one man show. Life is good--friends, a margarita, music, and great weather!

Our plan was to go to The Driskill and have some 1886 Cake, but it was already 2:00 and we had things to do--like eat! Off to South Congress and Mighty Cone....I'd been anxiously awaiting this one!

Mighty Cone. Saw it on Food Network, I think and sounded right up my alley: hot/sweet crunchy coating, avocado, chicken, or shrimp. Man, it was as good as I hoped it would be.

While we were there, I had to snap a few more Austin photos:

Lucy

Justin

And what trip to South Congress would be complete without a visit to the original trailer in the trailer park?

(Another little something I've taken a million pictures of...hey, I have a soft spot for cupcakes and airstream trailers!)

We HAD to take this picture--look how skinny we are in the cupcake trailer! Well, Greta looks skinny and I look normal, NOT like I'm still carrying an extra 30 pounds.

I'm already looking forward to next year! Thanks for playing, Greta!

kites+cooks+humphrey+corn dogs+lemonade+school bus ride+lines=best day ever!!!

2010-03-15T15:16:00.000-05:00

I really wanted to go to the Zilker Kite Festival this year. Wanted to take some photos, enjoy the outdoors with my boys, and now that Riley is old enough to enjoy something like this, we went for it. Russ wasn't thrilled, but I convinced him we needed to go.

We didn't leave the house as early as I wanted to, but my mother in law volunteered to keep Kace and boy was I glad she did.

We arrived downtown to the parking garage to ride the shuttle to the festival. As we pulled up, we saw school buses. Riley was THRILLED to be riding a school bus. We met some friends there who were willing to be adventurous with us. Waited in line to get on the school bus 1 hour and 20 minutes. The line wrapped around the entire parking garage, inside and out. NICE...

Get to the Zilker Park, we're all starving, and head straight to a food vendor. Get in line, standing there and overhear someone mention tickets. Oh gosh, do we really have to have tickets? Can't we just get a corndog and lemonade please? Russ investigates....we need tickets. We would manipulate the system and split up. Some of us stayed in the corndog line while some of us went to the ticket line. Aaah, the benefits of traveling in packs.

We're standing in the ticket line after a while of starving, realizing the line hasn't moved an inch. Find out shortly afterwards that the ticket booth is out of tickets. We're waiting on the ticket both to get tickets so we can get tickets so we can EAT. This isn't the adventure I'd planned....Meanwhile, Russ bought tickets off someone getting rid of them so he could entertain Riley while we waited in MORE lines. At least the 4 year old was happy!!

Called a member of the pack about the ticket situation...they're at the front of the line letting people go ahead of them because we still haven't arrived with the tickets. Hearing people going by saying that all of the ticket booths are out of tickets. Okay, so what do we have to do to get a corndog around here? We leave the ticket line because the corndog folks are now accepting cash but they have no change. As I'm ordering 3 corndogs and 3 lemonades, the cornie man (ha!) walks up to the counter and announces that he has 4 corndogs left. (If I do the math right, that means I still get 3, right?) With cordogs and lemonades in hand, we head to find the boys, sit on an extra large beach towel that I packed, and enjoy our long awaited lunch under the kites. The best corndogs we ever ate.

After the corndog, we packed up to get back into the bus line. Busses quit running at 5:30 and since it took almost an hour and half to get on the bus to get here....well, it could easily happen again. So....back to the lines we go. Russ and Riley had a little more fun while we held our place in line...and our ride back to the truck.

Through the drama, we had lots of smiles, enjoyed the wonderful weather, and admired the beauty of downtown Austin. Mandy said it best, "kites+cooks+humphrey+corn dogs+lemonade+school bus ride+lines=best day ever!!!" Thanks Mandy, I think I have a new title.

Looking forward to next year, right Babe?

It was a Great Day to be in Austin, TX!

2010-03-13T21:56:00.000-06:00

It sure feels like Spring, especially after the unusually cold winter we've had this year....with some snow too, very unusual around here. What a glorious day today was and a wonderful start to Spring Break. We spontaneously went to one of our favorite places and invited 2 of our favorite people to come along.

This last one is my FAVORITE!

Quick Conversation

2010-02-27T10:00:00.000-06:00

Kace is crying, waiting impatiently for his bottle to warm up and I walk through the living room and see Riley on top of Kace....almost smothering in my opinion. I say, "Riley...." and he says, "It's okay Mom, I'm just lovin' on him. I have my head turned to the side like this (shows me) so I won't breathe on him (paranoid NICU/preemie mother)."

Sweetness I didn't want to forget. I love Stay Home Days!

These Hands

2010-02-21T08:58:00.002-06:00

I've loved these hands for 37 years. I always thought these hands were beautiful. Even without her wedding ring and opal ring I always tried on. They never looked as pretty on my hand as they did on hers.

They took care of me when I was sick.

They cooked with me.

They cooked for me.

They made sure I was happy.

They hugged me.

They scratched my back.

They planted flowers with me.

They held my hand at church.

They loved me.

I will miss them.

I miss you Nana.

Growing Like a Weed!

2010-02-19T21:59:00.004-06:00

I was looking back at the pictures from the day Kace came home and he has grown and changed so much. So much has happened, I hope I eventually blog some of the stories, but for now, I just want to do this quick comparison.
Christmas Eve in NICU.

Homecoming, January 3

My sweet, precious miracle baby. Worth every moment. He's absolutely perfect.

I Will Not Forget

2010-02-17T10:22:00.005-06:00

I will not forget the way your tiny fingers hang onto mine.

I will not forget the way you pull your legs up under your body.

I will not forget your intoxicating baby smell.

I will not forget the way your little feet kick.

I will not forget how you demand a blanket. All the time.

I will not forget the way your fuzzy little head feels on my lips and my cheek.

I won't forget if you won't.

Last Good Day

2010-02-03T10:13:00.003-06:00

I'm so thankful that Kace met his great grandmother on her last "good" day. She got to see him, touch him, and tell me how cute he was. At one point, she said, "Where's that baby?" I walked to her bed to show him to her and said, "Here's our baby!" She said, "Well, not MINE!" That was funny! Her last good day, she knew my name and wondered what I was doing in her kitchen, just like old times. She always wanted to know what I was doing in there because she felt like she should be doing it for me. Or anyone else in her kitchen for that matter. She was a great hostess and was always offering up something to her visitors. I would always tell my friends that they might as well take her up on something....otherwise she'll keep asking! That's my Nana.

Her last good day we laughed, we smiled, I hugged and kissed her. When Kace and I left, I said "Goodbye Nana, I love you." She said, "I love you too, hon."

Thank you God for my last good day with my sweet Nana.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

2010-01-27T13:53:00.002-06:00

I feel like I keep doing the same things over and over and over again:
Wash hands.
Pump.
Wash hands.
Feed Kace.
Clean pump parts and bottles.

There are a few things happening in-between, but nothing feels productive. Before I know it, it's time to:
Wash hands.
Pump.
Wash hands.
Feed Kace.
Clean pump parts and bottles.
Pick up Riley.
Make dinner.
Wash hands.
Pump.
Wash hands.
Feed Kace.
Clean pump parts and bottles.
Go to bed, but not for long...

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

3-D

2010-01-19T23:44:00.003-06:00

Russ twisted my arm and we went to see Avatar in 3D. I might have seen just anything to get out of the house once again (I've got some catching up to do)! I didn't really know what to expect at first, but have heard that it was good (from Katie AND Oprah) and that there actually is a story line. I'd decided that it wasn't the science-fiction/alien movie that I thought it might be.

To my surprise, I liked it. The visual effects were incredible. My imagination could never create something like this. I even welled up with tears once--shocker!

Craig and Susan joined us, though we didn't get to talk much, obviously. Susan need to get out of the house too! It was good to have them next to us in the dark with our crazy glasses on.

Couldn't miss this crazy photo opportunity! Susan, I think your eyes are closed!! :-)

Dear Little Brother

2010-01-19T12:51:00.003-06:00

Dear Little Brother,

I wanted you to know some things about your big brother you don't know right now because you're just a little muffin. I hope you will appreciate knowing these things some day.

*He can't get enough of you. He is constantly wanting to kiss you, hug you, and touch you (as long as he doesn't have to wash his hands first--ha!).

*He loves chocolate milk.

*The morning after the first night you came home, he asked, "Mommy, is Kace still here?" He was excited, not irritated that you were "still here."

*He is an amazing conversationalist!

*He is ready to play with you but knows it will be a while because "baby's just drink milk."

*He likes to snuggle.

*He is so proud of you. Whenever anyone comes to see you, he says, "You can touch him if you wash your hands."

*He loves to help Mommy in the kitchen. He got his own kitchen for Christmas that he likes to make soup in!

*The moment you met is a moment I will never forget. Riley had to wait 13 days after you were born to meet you because you were in the hospital getting stronger. Riley came around the corner and went straight for you. He had a hard time keeping his hands off of you.

*He had a hard time while Mommy was in the hospital, but was really a trooper for 75 days of "abnormality." He sure did love his time with his grandparents though!

*He still calls you "My Baby." He started calling you that the minute he knew you were on your way.

*He loves his Dog and Pillow.

*He is working on telling the difference between "crying" and "baby noises." He's getting it now.

*Every day he asks to hold you. Several times he has held you for an entire episode of Spiderman or Scooby-Doo. (That's a long time for an almost four-year-old!)

*He is making plans about things you'll play when you "get bigger."

*He thinks that baby pictures of him are you!

*He can't wait to take you to the ranch. It will be a while before you ride in his Gator though.

*He has a stubborn streak--watch out!

*He knew how to spell your name when you came home from the hospital.

*He loves you and is looking out for you already!

I hope this helps someday. I love you too!

Love,

Mommy